My Story - The Moment

Jay’s Moment

Bob finally reached the top of the sole island hill that was somewhere in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, huffing and puffing. In spite of his tiredness, he noticed it instantly, the almighty, glimmering and magnificent sword loomed before him, firm in the smooth surfaced stone.

'Probably granite.' Bob thought...Nevertheless, he advanced towards it.

He tried to pull the sword out. It was his childhood dream, picturing himself sliding out the sword as if he was king Arthur. Surprisingly, as he gripped the great glittering golden sword, it wobbled in the stone, a mist began to rise from the expanding hole around the sword as Bob continued to pull. He yanked it harder and harder. He gave it one final tug and fell backwards in surprise. He was amazed to find himself holding the sword.

“This is the greatest moment of my life!”  He found himself yelling to no one. Or so he thought.

Suddenly, from the mist that was now pouring out of the stone came a noise …… creeped and crawled  three murderous robot ducks. The ducks struck towards Bob at a lightning speed with their super sharp and spiky beaks. Bob held up the sword to protect himself, swiping it from side to side. The ducks persisted,  attacking him, biting his arms more and more ferociously and madly. Bob's arms were fire red and spurting blood, he was screaming in pain as high pitched as a girl. He almost looked like he was having a dance circling around and around the ducks. Bob realised that the ducks started to back off, so he decided to say something.

‘You pesky evil ducks!’ Bob screamed at the robots. ‘You will never defeat me!’

He hit one of the ducks in rage, its head came off, then in a few seconds it grew back, as did any body part of the robots. He continued to fight with great might, but so did the ducks, after a while they changed tactics they fired laser beams out of their eyes, only to realise that it wasn’t working. Bob held up the sword to deflect the incoming shots. Though the ducks weren’t that dumb, they decided to go back to biting Bob, which worked better for them. After half an hour of constant fighting, bleeding, screaming, brutality and utter madness, Bob finally gave up. He was really scared he thought he was dead and from the shock and horror. Not dead yet, but captured by the creatures, and his dream had become his worst nightmare...

My Story - Outline

Characters are: Bob, the robot ducks, Bob's friends; Patrick, Donald, Sylvia, mountaineering crew; Joe, Chris, Vicky

Setting is on an island in the middle of the pacific ocean that has a magnificent tall mountain in the middle. The mountain is famous for it's 500 year old sword cemented in a stone on it's highest peak. Many great climbers and strong folk have tried to pull the sword out, nobody has succeeded.

Genre: Suspense and 'realistic fiction'

Main Character / Protagonist: Bob, he is one of the best climbers in the world, he is tough and determined, he is currently in search of his friends, who mysteriously disappeared - he is now almost given up hope. He pulls out the sword because his favourite childhood story was the king Arthur tale and wanted to look cool by taking a picture of him pulling out the sword. He grows as faces many of his fears.

Plot: Bob travels to the island and climbs the mountain. He pulls out the sword and out pops 3 robot ducks, they capture him. Bob now has to complete three challenges to get away. First he is given a bow and arrow that he needs to use to shoot a real duck, then cook it, then feed it to the robots. Next, he has to carve a duck out of a big cube of ice, in just one minute. He completes his second task as well. Then finally, he has to climb up a slippery pole, take the 3 beautiful amulets displayed on top of the pole, bring those down and place it around the necks of the robot ducks. These instantly turn into his lost friends, he thought were dead.

Antagonist: My "antagonist(s)" are really the robot ducks. They captured Bob's friends, so they can take their power and make them into robot ducks and live in the stone. They can also make people do things for them almost like turning them into slaves. Their characteristics are mean, cruel and horrible, they can also be evil, destructive and hateful.

Motivation: My protagonist's motivation is to climb every tall mountain in the world and be the greatest mountaineer. He thought (rather selfishly) that as he is the greatest climber maybe he could pull the sword out, that was the other reason why he decided to climb this mountain.

Conflicts: are the 3 tasks that Bob has to do.

My Example of a story: The Sound of Thunder;

'Out of the mist, one hundred yards away, came Tyrannosaurus Rex.

"It," whispered Eckels. "It......

"Sh!"It came on great oiled, resilient, striding legs. It towered thirty feet above half of the trees, a great evil god, folding its delicate watchmaker's claws close to its oily reptilian chest. Each lower leg was a piston, a thousand pounds of white bone, sunk in thick ropes of muscle, sheathed over in a gleam of pebbled skin like the mail of a terrible warrior. Each thigh was a ton of meat, ivory, and steel mesh. And from the great breathing cage of the upper body those two delicate arms dangled out front, arms with hands which might pick up and examine men like toys, while the snake neck coiled. And the head itself, a ton of sculptured stone, lifted easily upon the sky. Its mouth gaped, exposing a fence of teeth like daggers. Its eyes rolled, ostrich eggs, empty of all expression save hunger. It closed its mouth in a death grin. It ran, its pelvic bones crushing aside trees and bushes, its taloned feet clawing damp earth, leaving prints six inches deep wherever it settled its weight.'


- This story's style is similar to my story and style as it has a descriptive rising action and then a longer climax than other usual stories, it is mixed with resolution, the climax happens when the robots jump out of the stone and capture Bob. The resolution happens when the robots turn into his friends.